Boneyard Media

Gregoire Solotareff, The Secret Life of Santa Claus (1996)


This chubby alphabet book is out of print but well worth the effort to dig up. It’s a classic. Some sample entries:

“Airplane: in his airplane Santa Claus seems happy. But how many people really know if they are happy?

Artichoke: artichokes have no connection at all with Santa Claus. They do not make good presents, and you cannot make a Santa out of an artichoke.

Bottom: in Africa there are nasty monkeys who display their bottoms to Santa. This is neither very nice nor very polite. That’s why they never get presents.

Confuse: sometimes Santa’s elves disguise themselves as red-and-white toadstools. It is important not to get the two things confused and, above all, not to eat either one, because you could die.

Fortunate: it is fortunate that Santa Claus doesn’t have a daughter. It is obvious how he would dress her, and she would run the risk of being eaten by a wolf.”

posted by Kim Simpson

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